*Out Of Control*
There’s a monster; an evil; a demon that resides within me.
It takes advantage of me and always overstays its welcome.
It’s manipulative and demands my attention, and all of it.
The control it holds over me is great and powerful.
I know I should resist is and push it away but I cannot.
Without it I would be lost.
Without it my direction and motive would twist into a knot.
As crazy as it sounds -
I cannot let go.
It’s what I rely on and fall back upon repetitively.
I can see the negative change it brings.
The death that does not become me.
I deny it all.
I lie to myself, encourage myself.
The cycle continues to drag me deeper and deeper.
I no longer listen to that little voice.
It’s dead.
I’ve suffocated it and ignored it.
The damage is already done.
Deterioration is on the horizon.
I can see my future but I don’t change.
It’s a dark one of mourning and pain.
Death is in my future and there’s no way to escape.
-2004
*Like Death*
Tim Waggoner’s LIKE DEATH
I picked up the book I’m hooked on, once before. I checked this out a month ago and read the first two pages and decided it didn’t intrigue me enough. When I went to pick up a hold at the library I didn’t realize what book I was picking up until I saw it and it was in my hands. I’m so glad I gave it a second chance. I gobbled up the first seventy-five pages in record time and struggled to put it down!
The main character in the book is a writer (likes to think of himself as a journalist; sounds more prestigious). He had a horrific event happen during his childhood. The twist being that he doesn’t remember all the details of what happened. He gets so wrapped up in his work that he loses himself and then comes close to his wife being his ex-wife. His most horrorific loss being the loss of his son, David. While reading, I constantly wondered if this guy (Scott) was remotely sane in the least (!?). That’s what kept me reading, because I wanted to prove him sane and innocent. The reader is left with room to speculate: Did he commit the horrendous killing? Is she a ghost/figment of his imagination? Is she for or against him? Is he just plain nuts or is he a link of some sort, between past and present?
The dark and confusing world he visits is full of evil, sinister, and heinous thoughts and actions. There were times when I found myself in over my ‘head’ with the strange twists and dangerous curves of the plot. Remember it’s horror, so anything is possible and don’t always believe everything you read right from the get-go. There is room for questions, speculations, and mindful quirks.
Find out the answers for yourself. Don’t hesitate to read this one. Or to give it a second go-around J
P.S. Waggoner doesn’t stop at writing a great story but he also adds in some thought provoking and thoughtful tidbits every now and then.
Here are some I found daunting and as an ah-ha moment…
A dead sparrow lay in the middle…the bird was just another piece of discarded trash. God might note the fall of every sparrow, but that didn’t mean he cleaned up the mess afterward. ~ pg.24
Everything worked to create an image of a practical, mature woman who felts no need to draw attention to her beauty. If she truly was the kind of woman she seemed, … she wouldn’t have felt the need to buy a twin pack of self-esteem. ~ pg.33
She (Lolita/Miranda) released his hand, and he felt a sudden loss…he wondered if it was the same sense of loss that babies felt when the umbilical cord was snipped. ~ pg. 51
**
Warning:: You may notice the words, tutelary and latter become very common vocabulary. Get your revenge by using them on your friends and family.
*Update*
I will be moving to a new site. I need a site dedicated ONLY to my stories. This site was intended for book excerpts but look what happened, oops : P
Further details coming soon. . .
Reading in the new year…
Okay, so now it’s 2007 and at the closing of the previous year, I didn’t have much time to do as much reading as I would’ve liked. Life got hectic and shortened my free time. Although, I did get a chance to test drive a new author. Jack Priest. He’s not a mystery writer but writes horror. I got kind of bored of the same ‘ol style and thought I’d branch out a bit. It’s the kind of book (if you like to be creeped out and on the edge of your seat) that you should read alone, in the dark, and be ready to be creeped out. . . wondering if the creaks in the house are the evil ol’ witch looking for you. Sorry, but I don’t have any excerpts for viewing, so looks like you’ll have to get your own copy. But unless you’re the type of reader who reads and re-reads books, I recommend borrowing this read from your handy dandy library. Priest writes more and after experiencing his first write, I’ll be sure to make some time to read his other books. Another book I had time to read was a book. It was a how-to type about boosting your self-image and being sexy from the outside in.
a lil taste…
This is an excerpt from the book i mentioned in the above post. The book is Dance Naked by Jessica Kayla Conrad. She tells it like it is, keeps you laughing, gives you a new angle on body image, and gets your blood pumping! read on…
Pg. 37 Work that runway
For this exercise, you’ll need to find some time when you can be alone, have access to our CD player, and wear your highest pair of heels. Three-inch-plus is best, but gardening clogs will work if they’re all you’ve got.
First, put on a CD. Pulsing techno is best, but anything with a fast beat will do. Turn it up as loud as you or your neighbors can stand and slip on your heels now et into position. The “catwalk,” or “runway” at a fashion show is broken down like a clock: Start position is six o’clock, the end of the runway is twelve o’clock, your left side is nine o’clock, and your right side is three o’clock. You generally want to start at six, hit twelve, ten and two, do a twirl or two, and head back to six. Got it? Okay. Let’s start by getting on the sex and adjoining your position.
High heels tend to force you to arch your back. Fight this by tucking your pelvis under as far as you can, so that your pelvis, lower back, and rib cage form a concave arc. Finally, open your shoulders and arch your upper back as much as you can. You are now ready to strut down the catwalk. Extend each leg in front of you from your hip as you take each step. Once you get the hang of it, you’ll find that this position causes you to walk really fast. Stop when you reach the end of the room and pose by jutting your hips out to one side. Throw a surly, pouty look at your imaginary audience. Turn and face the ten o’clock position. Stick out your other hip and continue to pout. Turn back to twelve o’clock, then throw a hostile glance over at two o’clock. Do a turn if you want, keeping the intimidating start all the while. Return to the start position,, change your outfit, and do it again.
The great thing about the model walk is that it’s an instant perk-me-up. Try it net time you’re schlumping through he cat-food section of the grocer store, and you’ll see what I mean.
